GOP Macho
In the Republican’s new “kick-butt” stance, even the Bush twins have gone through another makeover. (Pre-Election) (Pre-Convention) (Post-Convention)
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Read My Lips — Chapter 2
Although it’s difficult to maintain the highest consistency four nights a week (and some of those Helms, Colbert, Bee pieces make me cringe), The Daily Show was in fine form last week at the RNC. If you’ve been following this blog, you know I’ve been carefully culling the internet...
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Tanks But No Tanks: Arnold’s Big Lie Just Par For The Course at GOP Convention
(Austria just printed 600,000 copies of these. Did somebody say recall?) Consistent with the Republican theme this week (not to mention, the past four years) of shaping facts to conform to fantasy, it now appears that the core of Arnold Schwarznegger’s endearing personal account of his political awakening was...
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4th Night RNC 2008 Springboard Competition. Contestant: George “What Goes Up” Bush
Dive: It Takes A Bucket Level of Difficulty (10 point scale): 10.0 Analysis: After a strong take off into completely blue sky, it seemed President Bush would have no trouble following through on his promised course. Below sight of the audience, however, it became apparent that the President, having...
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3rd Night RNC 2008 Springboard Competition. Contestant: Zell “Spitball” Miller
(This entry is part of our continuing coverage of the Republican National Convention Springboard competition. Each night, we rank the performance of various speakers for their ability to execute career enhancing maneuvers with their performance.) Dive: Last One Out Of The Pool Is A Terrorist Appeasing Democrat Level of...
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2nd Night RNC 2008 Springboard Competition. Contestant: Doctor Bill “Free Sample” Frist
Dive: Drug Industry-Sponsored Synchronized Lobbyist/Legislator Personal Gainer Level of Difficulty (10 point scale): 2.5 Analysis: Without a splash, the leader of the Senate executes a perfect synchronized Personal Gainer in tandem with a fully clothed lobbyist from the pharmaceutical industry. The flawless technical expertise of this performance compares favorably...
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2nd Night RNC 2008 Springboard Competition. Contestants: Jenna “Sex and the City” Bush and Barbara “The Hamster Didn’t Make It” Bush
Dive: Seemingly Unplanned Giggling Young and Irresponsible Faceplant Level of Difficulty (10 point scale): .005 Analysis: Reflecting the consistency they have maintained over the past four years, Jenna and Barbara execute a perfect version of their trademark feat. Considering the adverse consequences of the entry, it’s impressive how willing...
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