Because the conventions this year are completely scripted, the only drama that remains is oratorical.
As a result, we present the running of the 1st Quadrennial Democratic National Convention Speechstakes. The competition promises to be fierce, with some real speed in the field, including the two Southern entries, Clinton and Edwards. The contest is wide open, however, with a number of interesting dark horses, including Howard Dean, who has been training recently without blinders.
The first heat, Monday night, features two Clintons, as well as Carter, Gore and Mikulski. The Mikulski entry should bring a lot of fire to the contest, but none more than Gore, an animal with the capacity to actually spontaneously combust. The favorite, of course, is Clinton (the gelding). But keep an eye out for the other Clinton. The filly likes to hang back until the late stages.